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Well
if you haven't done something by now, it's too
late. Especially if you're reading this in the 21st
century. (I live in hope) Ah yes, the hype, the
terror and the sheer stupidity, it's delicious. It
makes my sad and sorry life worthwhile.
Next to the books on motivation in business and
"...for Dummies" as I write this, you can buy books
on how to survive the Y2K bug. (Love those
abbreviations, don't you?) Putting it in book form
is obviously a step in the right direction, unless
the paper spontaneously combusts at midnight...
It is fun though, isn't it watching them running
around talking about Saturn V rockets that would
never have got off the ground, when all they had to
do was get skinnier astronauts or, spend the same
on the space program as on defence. (Even a budget
increase of the equivalent to all the donuts
consumed by Mission Control would have done.) As
Douglas Adams noted in Australia recently, it's odd
how no other industry is so capable of shaping the
future and ye they "failed to predict the turn of
the century." Don't you just love those
predictions? These guys are great and really
deserve recognition for how many times they have
been hideously and hopelessly WRONG about
everything. As Dr Karl comments, these guys;
especially your favourite and mine: Nostrodamus,
are very good at predicting the PAST. According to
these guys, the world has very definitely ended
about 20 times this century. We have been invaded
by aliens, barbecued in nuclear devastations,
splattered by meteors, drowned in tsunamis and
consumed by killer viruses. Now we will be stomped
on by beetles. Apparently.
This probably explains a lot of the nonsense going
on in the world today. The truth is, we're not
really here, this insanity is just the ripples we
left behind, bouncing over one another becoming
increasingly more convoluted and confusing. It's
scary when I make sense isn't it?
I think enough has been said about NASA and the
Stockmarket, so I'll leave that to the experts. I
want to keep on about the predictions. The Year
2000. Sydney Olympic follies is about all I can
attribute to that oft quoted date and yet those
words inspire so much emotion and in some cases,
fear in so many little munchkins out there that I'm
intrigued.
"It's the end of the world!" They mutter resolutely
as they stock up on canned beans. And if you're
facing eating canned beans by choice then believe
me, your life IS over. Ah yes, there they are with
their bottled water and their candles... Wait a
minute, sorry, I got confused. That's the Middle
Class. I wonder what they'll do all day when the
end comes. Funny about that. It is the END so
there's no point in stocking up is there?
O.K. so maybe society will still be here. Knowing
my luck it will be. But everything will be in
chaos. Why? I ask myself. If humanity deserves to
survive, and that is questionable, then they should
take precautions. But what is it about those
numbers that inspires this reaction? No doubt all
the numerologists out there are already outraged,
so I'll see if I can offend a few more people in a
shallow attempt to get you to email furious and
badly constructed texts to me so I can have a
laugh.
In the overall scheme of things, what most people
seem to forget is that the date itself is pretty
meaningless. Given the length of time the world is
supposed to have been here, what's one millennium
here or there? Settle down all you creationists,
your beliefs are not being threatened by any
infidels. This obsession with the date has to end.
Thankfully there are some sensible people out there
for whom it is NOT the year 2000, Jews, Hindus, and
too many others to mention. It's probably a good
thing these people don't have to cope with the Year
2000 because they probably have enough to worry
about already.
In the meantime, if you feel threatened by the
imminent arrival of beetles, you could change your
religion. Me? I'm going to make a cup of tea, watch
TV and not buy beans.
Kidzje!
Finale:
My
favorite thing said to me this week:
"That's
not sense, that's cynicism."
"So
what's your point?"
The
same person is responsible for telling me he spells
'spontaneously' different every time.
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