Don't
let me have this section all to myself. I'm sure you have a gripe
that can go here!
Come on
complain!
M
is for "Merge"
Let
me get you started. Road signs. OK, you know the ones I mean,
diamonds with curt descriptions of the bleedin' obvious in them. You
know, like "DO NOT QUEUE ACROSS TRAIN LINE." Honestly, if people are
so stupid... then they should do us a favour and remove themselves
from the gene pool. However, I want to have a whinge not about the
signs, but people's incapacity to actually understand them even
though they contain fewer syllables than a song by an experimental
German Futurist band. I know "a picture is worth a thousand words",
but will someone explain to me why when a sign at the side of the
road says "left lane ends merge
right" that motorists
interpret this to mean the following:"Just stay in this lane, or
better still, make yet a new
lane
off the side of the road, to make three instead of the mooted
one, then drive
really
fast,
then slam on the brakes when
you run out of road and then try to barge into the lane you were
supposed to MERGE into in the first
place if you had half a brain." What is wrong with you people?!?
I'm so furious that I can't write any more on this topic. Road rage,
huh? Well if you read about a motorist throwing multiple copies of
the Macquarie Dictionary (with a bookmark in 'M' for Merge) at cars,
you'll know who it is!
Strike a
light!
How
come politicians don't have to strike to get a pay rise? Is this the
only issue that both parties will agree on? Think about it,
politicians get more than the rest of us and what qualifications do
they need? NONE! All they have to do is get elected. When I see
Mandu, the co-leader of the late Lord Such's Raving Looney Party in
Britain I am heartened that real cats (as opposed to plain old
fat-cats) get a chance at earning (and I use that term loosely)
hideous amounts of money. I'd vote for the cat. Cats don't bother to
pretend to like you.
